College Papers

In beautiful because it had been broken. I

In china, when they break a plate, or bowl, or something, instead of throwing it away, they put it back together. But how they do that is really special, see when they put it back together, they use gold. They purposely draw attention to the cracks, and fractures; and the plate, or bowl or whatever becomes more beautiful because it had been broken.  I used this to prove to you darling, that being broken isn’t a bad thing, all it means is that you may have had to push harder than other people to get where you are now. But believe me darling, being “broken” doesn’t mean you are less than anyone else, in fact they probably feel the exact same as you. And even if you feel like you’re below everyone, they feel like they’re below you. People notice you. People care for you. People want you to be happy. I know it may feel like the recovery might be worse than what “broke you” (if you even have a cause which it’s totally okay not to) and it very well might be. But believe me darling, it will be worth it in the end. You may feel alone now but there are so many people who would never want you to feel so bad. I know nobody can ever change whatever happened in your past, but believe me darling, we are trying everything we can to ensure you have the brightest future. Even if they don’t know it. I know you draw. Is that how you cope? I hope it is because they are beautiful. Now you might not think so, because there is always someone better right? But what I find beautiful is how you’re able to take your pain; the ugly, dark, horrible pain, and turn it into something so absolutely stunning, and light, and delightful. And I know I might be reading way too much into this and it could’ve meant nothing, but just in case. Because I don’t want to lose a friend, and better safe than sorry, right? I know that you know it to be completely true that “Being lonely doesn’t  mean you’re alone. Being lonely is when you’re in a group of people and you feel as if you don’t fit in” And I am afraid that for you a many other people, this is their truth. But I want you to know that the people you hang out with, your friends, they feel like you belong.  Because to them, you’re an amazing, funny, talented, person who is perfect in their own special way. And I know you’re most likely sick and tired of hearing the same old “everybody is different” and “learn to love yourself the way you are” speeches. And I guess you can categorize this one as one of those too. So go ahead, go on autopilot mode; read the first few lines only to realize it’s just the same old thing you’ve read or heard a thousand times over, just wearing a new outfit. So i’m sorry for that, if you’ve even made it this far. If you have made it this far I just want to congratulate you because I know how cheesey or horrible this might sound. But you just gotta believe me when I tell you darling, you are not alone. I’m here for you. I understand your thoughts a jumbled up in your head. The ones that are consuming you. And why you fake a smile. Not to lie to the people around you but so you seem strong, so you seem happy. But you’re not, your thoughts are eating you from the inside out. But believe me darling i’m right here. By your side, always. I’m holding your hand, and rubbing your back as you cry on my shoulder. And i’m not going anywhere. Ever. Because I know what is feels like to just want to throw it all away. To just give up and give in. But darling, darling please don’t. I know you may think that you’re not worth anything, that no one cares, or that compared to other people you shouldn’t be complaining, but darling, pain is relative and what someone might survive, that same thing will kill someone else. But darling, your life is so incredibly important, and every one of your little problems deserves its attention too. Your life matters to me.And darling, I know it’s tough, but do it for me. Do it for everyone who’s ever said they loved you. Or thought it. Do it for your cat, or dog, or fish. For your mother, your father, siblings, family, friends, and if you can; then do it for yourself. I’m so sorry you have to wear that fake smile darling, but stay strong and hold onto the misery of tomorrow <3